After finishing Run With the Hunted, a Charles Burkowski Reader edited by John Martin I am left considering the importance of writing about something worthwhile. Is the edifying element essential if you are going to share your writing? The world begs you have SOMETHING to say and yeah, who am I to deem whether his experiences were worthwhile but I'm making the call anyway. My gut instinct is a resounding "yes" after feeling the churn and weight of his laborious personal destruction and immoral lifestyle repeated and in not much variance. It isn't that the subject matter while distasteful in my value system was why I objected but rather the book left me with a longing that Burkowski could have shared more of his life experiences somehow different. I do not believe one needs an "exciting" lifestyle to write; world travel and adventures are not required , small and simple things are usually related to great things in the eternal spectrum. The book made me aware, though of one's selection of your life experiences written about. What angle and what story or observation you dictate about has an effect. Mundane activities are boring indeed if no creative angle is taken. Just like a photographer who uses different lenses, balances compositions creatively the photo only has intrigue if it is different. The book was a sort of chronological memoir. The first third really stirred me. I found myself hungering for the details he gave and felt a sympathy for the protagonist and the poor choices he made. It was awfully sad that he never in his life learned from poor choices, and it was great to read. It inspired me to want to write about some encounters with people in my own life who maybe in my factual lineup of facts of my life had no starring roles but there was an honesty and in my personal examples a shameful human side of me that could be revealed from me exploring my relationship to these people, thus unveling a purer portrait of who I am as a writer and person. I made myself a list of some of these and am working on developing them. So, for that list alone the book was worthwhile as far as a tool for my growth as a writer is concerned. I also liked his attainable poetry. But for the remainder I wanted Burkowski to just stop spewing from his pen and think a minute and by golly try to at least find some sort of redemption or glimmer of usefulness. The real answer though as to whether an edifying element in writing is essential might be "no" because who can deem whether something might be worthwhile to another who has had different life experiences and as long as the writing causes the writer to exert his power in some form. And besides if you don't just wwrite and wait for some strok of brilliance to come along (something I am indeed guilty of) pretty soon you will find yourself never writing. Likely a worse offense.

A perfect summer day in the 70's spent at the park. I love it when a few photographs capture their essence. These kids have a real heavenly spirit to them. Today, I yelled too much, acted out of control with harsh, power that I shouldn't have the right to exert upon their developing souls. Temperance and control when correcting and showing an increase of love after disciplining I really believe in. Yet I am still working on exercising that patience. Luckily they have bounce back spirits and hopefully I won't damage those spirits before mastering such lessons.

At the library Moses checked out books about dinosaurs, crocodiles and amphibians. I remember the science nerd that chose those books in school. I was checking out the Boxcar Children and the Orphan Train Quartet. We got wallpaper stickers of dinosaurs in Moses' room and hideous Barbie princess ones for the girls room. Moses' first choice was Care Bears but after painting Moses room orange and blue and it coming out rather retro cool and leaning toward masculine we exerted our power. Every night rather than a story or song Moses wants to be told about what animals are sleeping right now and which are nocturnal. He wants to know specifics about each dinosaur on his wall. His infatuation has expanded to desiring to know a few details about as many animals as he can get expsoure to. He craves more info than I know about these creatures so I figured a few library books might do some good. Eli noticed he's especially interested in the character of each animal. Are they "good" or "bad" and seems to deem the carviverous ones the bad ones. Eli is best at telling him these things and they both enjoy their discussions.

This morning Adrianna took off her shoes in the car as we drove to drop Carolina off at school. In an effort to save time I just carried her inside. Having her right next to my ear gave me on opportunity to be privy to her thoughts. She said "Why is it crying?" "What's crying?" "The tree." I saw she was talking about a small tree that resembled a weeping willow and though perhaps a child named them. I told her "their branches hang down and that sometimes plants are sensitive to temperature, in the cold morning and night they close up. It's like they are sleeping, just like we sleep. Flower buds close up too, sometimes, and then they open up when they are ready."
Later walking home from the store Adrianna and Moses sat beside each other covered in the stoller , escaping most of the rain since they had a cover overhead. Moses said, "Who spit on me?" I told him it was just the rain and he asked "How does it do that?" He was confused that the rain could get him in the confines of the stroller. I explained that the raindrop probably fell and then came back up and splashed him.

Carolina loses her first tooth

It's been loose for awhile. She's read and reread the story of Arthur and his loose tooth and tried some of his tricks...corn on the cob, steak, taffy...until tonight nothing worked. It is such a teeny tiny front bottom teeth. Reflecting on the anguish the experienced o grow her first teeth it was quite a contrast to see her lose this one. So excited to tell all her friends at school!

Sunny Carolina, Adrianna and their friend Sally playing outside. They told me they were planning a trap for the boys and Carolina was part of it. She said the make up was part of it. something to the effect that this guise would be a part of their wiley ways.Isubmitted this photo for a Charlize Theron film being shot locally seeking a pregnant body double. They said she needs to be 5'9"-5'11", blond, size 8-10 when not pregnant...And no, none of those describe me but what do I have to lose?
Moses is always quick to offer assistance tending our garden. Today he helped sprinkle the monthly fertilizer applicaton and watered the radishes and peas. We got lots of plant starts this weekend: cherry tomatoes, tomatillos, regular tomatoes, a pumpkin, basil, acorn squash, patty pan squash (whatever the heck that is), an echinacea plant, eggplant, collard and maybe a few others. It might be a bit ambituous but we'll see. We move this weekend and that gives the plants just the right amount of time to harden to regular temperatures, hopefully we have enough room to plant everything in our new space.

Carolina came in to have me put a pony tale holder in her hair. She sighed and said everybody was fighting over her...about who would get to apply what make up. Just the way she likes it.

Ten Things to Look Forward to
1. Paint more
2. Do art with the kids
3. Read a book
4. Nurture my garden
5. Write
6. Read to the kids
7. Take daily walks
8. Take pictures daily
9. Occasional structured meals
10.Letting beauty and cleanliness begin each day