www.pdxswap.com

Koin 6 news came tonight to one of the monthly clothing swaps I like to attend. The 1.30 minute clip will show this coming Wednesday on Channel 6 at 5:00 or you can catch it on the internet. I twirled for a quick pose but wasn't feeling very aggressive so I won't be highlighted. (www.pdxswap.com if you want to get connected with a clothing swap group. ) I think it is just the greatest thing for so many reasons. I am as cheap as they come and get shivers knowing the amazing outfit I am wearing was free of charge. Somehow it is even cuter being free. Regular swap attendance has also given be better perspective on the impermanence of material things. I've gradually learned to let things go that tie me down. Everything clothing wise can be replaced with no strings or risk. If I like something and then decide I don't I can give it away next time I go. At first I had a bit of a hoarder attitude at the swap and wouldn't necessarily bring equally good stuff but the more I give and receive the more of an outpouring of generosity and sharing that fills my well. I feel happier giving good stuff and getting good stuff. All the women that attend have an exciting and warm energy and everyone is respectful and it is ran with order and love. Coming home I left with good feelings and a sweet box of loot.

Sunny Carolina's last day of kindergarten

History was made today. Oregon's first year of Russian immersion was completed and this class is only the fourth in the United States to have a Russian Immersian class. Yay for Sunny, she was part of it! My favorite part of the year was hearing Sunny sing the many songs she learned in Russian. She tried relentlessly to teach me but you know what they say about an old dog learning new tricks... Some things not to forget: Sunny's first bad note sent home- "Sunny has been having trouble coming in from lunch recess. She hides when the rest of the class is lining up to come indoors and gains an extra five to ten minutes of playtime. Maybe you can help her with this." Another one- "Sunny tried her best all day today. I'm so proud of her. She's become a real student" That was some great growth recalling the first two weeks where she bawled the first two weeks and withdrew into a shell that did not allow her to enjoy learning or anyone else to for that matter. I fretted for her at that time and also worried her teacher wouldn't ever have the chance to see the bright little beacon she is. Her natural leadership qualities had temporarliy been buried and a grumpy frown was the only thing anyone could see. But that time passed and she began to savor the days she had school, sometimes waking me up in the morning but still always wanting full control of the outfit she wore and usually it would be the same orange skirt with frayed edges for the fourth time in a row and the rattiest, faded t-shirt (only short sleeves) no matter what darling and stylish options were in her drawer. She gained great trust and faith in Ms. Z, so much so that when there was a subsititute the office secretary, April saw an awful lot of her as on such days Sunny suddenly had an increase of knee pain, severe indigestion, lockjaw, gout, an acute attack of bursitis and suddenly she would find herself lost in the maze others called school although on days Ms Z was around she knew her way around like a sleuth. After school she would pretend she was Ms. Zakharechenkov, "Miss Z" while Moses would be her student. I've caught her playing with dolls and stuffed animals speaking with what resembled a Russian accent. Occasionally she has told me words in Russian, gathering courage to me more experimentive in the foreign tongue. The second time and last time she didn't earn a sticker for good behavior during the year she gave me a hug when I picked her up as usual but Ms. Z let me know she had not given her the sticker she had on her hand...it had been acquired from a friend and I'm not so naive to think Sunny intended me not finding out. The floods poured as the web of deceipt unraveled. She didn't get the sticker becaue she was angry and colored a big line of red crayon on the classroom carpet out of spite. Nice to see her learn you can make a mistake, make amends and try to earn another sticker the next day. "Mom, you forgot to give me a snack today!" At a multicultural school concert her class performed three songs in Russian and up until stage time she was so excited. Curtain call caused Ms. Gunther to find me in the audience to let me know stage fright had set in for our dear
hero Sunny Carolina. I could see the sparkle through her ters that she desperately wanted to sing the songs she'd worked so hard to learn but there were oh, so many people out there. So I squatted onstage trying to appear just a fly on the stage with the kindergarteners but coming across more as a pregnant oompaloompa but holding her hand she wiped the tars and a bit of calm came back, enough that she was able to begin singing and she sang with vigor and vim. Yes Adrianna in the audience began to lose her composure and I felt split between both sides of the parted seas but we made it through eight minutes and peace was restored knowing she was able to do it. At her recent birthday party she enlivened as her true self, shining Sunny Carolina leading and spreading gleee and bringing fun and spontaneity and freedom to all around her. Kindergarten was a joy for Sunny Carolina.
Our track record of %10 completed assigned homework encoouraged an idea that her classmate Solomon did...his homeowork in the car to and from school. She always has a willing spirit to do her work and enjoys learnign and writing words and being able to sound out words. "I got a prize from filling up my word comprehension turtle today!" "I don't have my pet shop mouse because it was distracting so it got put in the jewel box. Waaaaa!" How was your day today sunny? What did you do today? "Great! I can't remember." The same questions my mom asked me and the familiar noncommittal answers I gave match hers...haunting.

At the park today Carolina brought along her new toy dog "Twinkle"
Adrianna playing in the fountain despite her mothr who has no backbones insistence that she not...
Moses and his new monkey. He sure can fly high.
Adrianna and her beautiful "yipstick"
Uncle Clinton and Moses talking about guy stuff
Moses was laughing because Clinton was teasing him that Halle is his girlfriend
Sunny Carolina is six years old! She glowed during the celebration. She'd been waiting for this moment all year. She savored leading all her guests around and lauging and playing with her great friends. They danced, played games, colored pictures and generally loved life.
Working on a picture of a mouse, of course.
Halle, Alma, Sunny Carolina, Ariyonna, Isabella
Moses and David weren't to into the girls festivities and played with the trainset in Moses' room most of the party.
Dancing to her new music
Adrianna in the middle playing Simon Says
This dress is from our old neighbors who are Island Pacificers. Adrianna feels so beatiful when she wears it. Carolina always tries to get away with wearing it...wait till their teenagers!
Daddy loves his girl
At a baseball game

First gleamings from our garden...a bowl of lettuce and pretty purple radishes
Our first art project in a very long time. When paint was spread farther than I desired I rememberd why it had been so long since the last time.
Adrianna painting.

After finishing Run With the Hunted, a Charles Burkowski Reader edited by John Martin I am left considering the importance of writing about something worthwhile. Is the edifying element essential if you are going to share your writing? The world begs you have SOMETHING to say and yeah, who am I to deem whether his experiences were worthwhile but I'm making the call anyway. My gut instinct is a resounding "yes" after feeling the churn and weight of his laborious personal destruction and immoral lifestyle repeated and in not much variance. It isn't that the subject matter while distasteful in my value system was why I objected but rather the book left me with a longing that Burkowski could have shared more of his life experiences somehow different. I do not believe one needs an "exciting" lifestyle to write; world travel and adventures are not required , small and simple things are usually related to great things in the eternal spectrum. The book made me aware, though of one's selection of your life experiences written about. What angle and what story or observation you dictate about has an effect. Mundane activities are boring indeed if no creative angle is taken. Just like a photographer who uses different lenses, balances compositions creatively the photo only has intrigue if it is different. The book was a sort of chronological memoir. The first third really stirred me. I found myself hungering for the details he gave and felt a sympathy for the protagonist and the poor choices he made. It was awfully sad that he never in his life learned from poor choices, and it was great to read. It inspired me to want to write about some encounters with people in my own life who maybe in my factual lineup of facts of my life had no starring roles but there was an honesty and in my personal examples a shameful human side of me that could be revealed from me exploring my relationship to these people, thus unveling a purer portrait of who I am as a writer and person. I made myself a list of some of these and am working on developing them. So, for that list alone the book was worthwhile as far as a tool for my growth as a writer is concerned. I also liked his attainable poetry. But for the remainder I wanted Burkowski to just stop spewing from his pen and think a minute and by golly try to at least find some sort of redemption or glimmer of usefulness. The real answer though as to whether an edifying element in writing is essential might be "no" because who can deem whether something might be worthwhile to another who has had different life experiences and as long as the writing causes the writer to exert his power in some form. And besides if you don't just wwrite and wait for some strok of brilliance to come along (something I am indeed guilty of) pretty soon you will find yourself never writing. Likely a worse offense.

A perfect summer day in the 70's spent at the park. I love it when a few photographs capture their essence. These kids have a real heavenly spirit to them. Today, I yelled too much, acted out of control with harsh, power that I shouldn't have the right to exert upon their developing souls. Temperance and control when correcting and showing an increase of love after disciplining I really believe in. Yet I am still working on exercising that patience. Luckily they have bounce back spirits and hopefully I won't damage those spirits before mastering such lessons.

At the library Moses checked out books about dinosaurs, crocodiles and amphibians. I remember the science nerd that chose those books in school. I was checking out the Boxcar Children and the Orphan Train Quartet. We got wallpaper stickers of dinosaurs in Moses' room and hideous Barbie princess ones for the girls room. Moses' first choice was Care Bears but after painting Moses room orange and blue and it coming out rather retro cool and leaning toward masculine we exerted our power. Every night rather than a story or song Moses wants to be told about what animals are sleeping right now and which are nocturnal. He wants to know specifics about each dinosaur on his wall. His infatuation has expanded to desiring to know a few details about as many animals as he can get expsoure to. He craves more info than I know about these creatures so I figured a few library books might do some good. Eli noticed he's especially interested in the character of each animal. Are they "good" or "bad" and seems to deem the carviverous ones the bad ones. Eli is best at telling him these things and they both enjoy their discussions.